there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
