i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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