if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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