One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
