Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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