Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
