Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
