I bet he comes in French.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
