I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
