i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
