I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
