about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
