If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
