Welp...herpes.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
