He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
