Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
