Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
