so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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