Don't make out with my wife yet
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
