votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
