Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
