I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
