So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
