Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
