It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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