beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
