We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
worst night to have a conscience
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
