I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
