it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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