last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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