Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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