The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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