Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
