its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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