Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
high people should be assigned attendants
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
