sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
