Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
sex in a hospital.. check
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
