Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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