I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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