Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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