Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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