Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
