Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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