That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
