have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
