erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
