when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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