how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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