Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Randomize
