Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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