...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
