U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You were trust falling into bushes
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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